Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside

Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. No shit, I did. Weird. I realised the truth when I was trying to say something, and I was trying so hard that I woke up. Later on, I was convinced that I was ten years older than I am, and I was wondering what I'd done with my life, and the answer was nothing! Not that I believe I can't achieve anything after 35, just that I felt awful that I'd wasted ten years.

Sad dreams, bad dreams. Made me realise I ought to get shit done. I've spent this morning looking at job ads, now that I'm not planning holidays, I can actually apply for things.

Sometimes I love my dreams. Sometimes I hate them. I am not sure what to make of the ones I had last night. I dreamt I was playing guitar in this band, and we had a gig, but nobody knew the right chords, and only fourteen people turned up.

There is more to this. I actually dreamt I was Robert Smith, (and am completely embarrassed to admit it). Except I must be some sort of idiot-Smith, since I sucked.


Oh well!


Still feeling like an idiot, but don't blame me! It's not my subconscious!!.. um

I'm booored. Somebody amuse me? In the form of 'do something with me tonight?' Because I haven't been out besides tafe all week, and it's getting to me.

Also, a dream-post, because I can. The first half of the dream was alright, strange, but pretty boring, it involved walking home from the city in bare feet in the wee hours of the morning. I bumped into Julia, we said hello and went on our different ways. Came across a carnival, full of safeway people, it was. Mitch offered to drive me home if I would just wait for him to finish work.

Anyway, this is the fun bit, I'm sitting outside a cafe, I'm at a table with someone sitting across from me, we have lattes in front of us, and there's a hat on the table. I look towards the street and I see a man who has no face, just an eye where his face should be. I wish I could upload pictures to my computer... But he has three faces, I can see the edges where he puts them on, the eye is just the outer mask/face. He comes over to our table and collects his hat.

That's it. I just really like the imagery of a man with three faces.


And yes, I'm bored! Amuse me! (demanding, much?) I'll go play music for now, because I've been neglecting my poor piano lately. *pets piano*


OH! And my Bright Eyes Cassadaga pre-order was cancelled :( This makes me very very sad. They didn't have enough copies for all the pre-orders, I'll have to wait... this is not conducive to a happy Kate.

I feel as if I've had no sleep at all.

Dreams were unsettling and made me anxious, they were just so stressful. First I turned up at coles in my safeway uniform. Easy, yeah?

Then I was at a beach, decided to climb out on the rocks as the tide was out. As soon as I sat down on a large rock, the waves started coming in, and they never stopped, just got larger and larger, I dug my heels into the crevices of the rock and tried to stay still as the waves were at my head level. I couldn't swim to shore because of the rocks, I'd be killed, but if I stayed, I'd die anyway. I start yelling for help, and suddenly there are all these people around, an old lady paddles up to me, she has a spare kickboard that she lends me and I kick to shore where my family are waiting.

There are vague memories of walking up dim alleys following cats, I'm dressed like I belong in a period film, one about poverty.

Then I'm inspecting a dead body, trying to work out how she died. She was stalked and murdered by the one fellow. No-one knows how he found her. I get back to my office, another girl leaves and a man comes in, he's a delivery person or something, he needs to check my i.d and scan it into the records. I refuse, knowing that there is no scenario in which this would be needed. He gets angry and leaves, he goes into the office of another colleague, and as I see my workmate, I try to indicate that this guy is the murderer. He drags him out of the office and gets him to
leave, but not before he throws a pile of papers at me and tries to trick me into giving a hint about my name "Just need your signature, Katherine Hamilton" he says. I put my poker face on and pick up the papers and he is gone.

The papers hold my every movement. Everything I've done is written down here, he's stalking me now, even places I thought I was completely alone. I try to drive, but realise he'll just tail me, I see no way out.

And then I wake.

Oh my goodness!

I think I'm melting. It reached 41 degrees today apparantly, and at this moment 11.23pm, it's still 33 or 34. Bejeebus!

I finally cut my hair! I've kind of decided that I don't like it. I mean, I do, but it would look so much better on a person that isn't me... Bugger.

Um, melting, that's about all that's on my to-do list right now. I wish I was floating in a pool or something, at night, a pool party! With all my friends, that'd be fun!

Had the bizzarest dreams last night, I'll try and see if I can remember them...

I was Harry Potter at the start, and I was talking to Pansy (another character from the books) and she had a necklace! It was just a plain chain except for the pendant at the bottom, which, if you weren't already wearing the chain, would be poisonous to touch. Hmm! Anyway, I was watching from Harry's viewpoint and he wanted to see the pendant, so she took it off, everyone was very careful, but as it was being put back on Pansy, it touched her. Ohnoes! So! Need to find an antidote, don't we. Run to Pansy's room, find the jewellary box that the antidote is kept in, and give her the antidote. Then there was Voldemort!kitten. Apparantly his animagus form is a kitten.. go figure. Blah blah.

Then I am in a field with Beth, Julia and Flick, and Voldie!kitten is gambolling around. There is a big line of hills to one side, and we decide to go to the top and see what's on the other side. On the way, we come across a bundle of american money, 'It's dirty money!' we cry and run onwards to the top of the hill and down the other side.. The money has something to do with the Iraq war, I believe.

The other side: We run along this spine of hills, cos if we go down, we'll be where the mongols are, and they're killing everyone around. We leap across the broken rocks and keep running. We run and run and run, and we eventually go around, because it's like a square map, we run north along the eastern border and eventually are facing south, but we're further west. There are huge fences, cattle drafting fences of some sort, and we go through the gate and come across a herd of wild brumbies. Now, to avoid being squished by the horses, we go down a ladder leading to the river. For some reason this is the Darling river, which I've never actually seen. I go down to the boardwalk below first, and the others are on the ladder when the water starts rising, apparantly this is where the foam is meant to rest (don't ask me, I have no idea) anyway, the water keeps rising and a huge wave is on the way. We climb up fast, and I'm still on the ladder when the water hits, the others have reached the top. Apparantly there is a loophole that says if you are not on a flat surface (ie, the ladder) you'll not get wet. So yay! I'm not wet, but the brumbies are still at the top....

*knock knock* Mum's knocking on Alistair's door, and it wakes me up.

That was a fun dream :D

Dreaming about being a cop is weird, and so is dreaming about being on holiday by the seaside, especially when you have to bend about three feet to fit into the very low shower and your sister is disappearing from photographs.


I was at a holiday house that was in tasmania, I think, I got to it over a bridge that connected Vic and Tas. But the seaside was grey and miserable, the whole family was there. Alistair even had his girlfriend there. We had about four kittens and two puppies, and they were gorgeous! Alistair and Monet took two of them to go to her brothers wedding. Mum, Dad and Ellie were going to another wedding, I was left behind. But I went out into the garden, and I came back in, and there was a stranger sitting in the lounge. I asked loudly Who the hell are you? And everyone looked at me, and she was someone from Monet's family, and they were all sitting there, Alistair and her as well, he had a bandage wrapped around his head, apparantly he fell before they even got to leave. Nanna is there now, asking me to help her with something.

I was a cop, and I was on the train,visiting someone from another police station, I was complainin about how the council had reduced the one hour parking near the station to half hour parking, and he was getting very upset with me, but I was only complaining about that because I couldn't talk about what was really on my mind, which was obviously pretty bad as I couldn't hold back tears, and I was trying to pretend pathetically that I wasn't crying, but he saw right through it.



I really feel like crying now, and I don't know why.

It's freezing-o'clock. I'm soooo cold. Actually, it's not all that early. 10.30 just feels like 6am.


No Oscar, letting me pat you quickly on the head does not mean I will let you out. Nor will looking up at me cutely and miaowing pitifully. But by god, clawing at the dress hanging on my door certainly will! Bastard! And instead of letting you out to 'play' with Koko, I will take her in here instead. Ha. Serve you right.


Anyway, dream log.
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In a suburb I don't recognize, and I'm at the house my parents owned before I was born. It is two shacks and a petrol station. They are both run down and the concrete is covered with cracks. The old pintara is there as well, and won't go anywhere, it's just sitting there rusting. I'm at work. And instead of being a supermarket, it's more like a library, and grocery department is an office department, and the manager wants to take some staff since we're not busy, so I find some people who aren't busy.
I'm walking on the street where the old place is, and I meet a giraffe. He's talking to me, and he's quite heavy.
I'm watching a film, because the third one has just come out, and I have to see the first two first. There is a camel train, and one man on a camel has a ghost, who is sort of like a genie, I suppose. The ghost has this ball, it is black, and if you use it the right way, you can set the ghost free. The man on the camel drops the ball into the camels hump.
Marvin the martian has turned up, he wants to steal the ball, because apparantly it has valuable qualities, and I am fighting with him, trying to get him to not steal it. He does anyway. And then I am standing with the ghost. I'm in love with him, I think, and we're standing there foreheads together and our hands joined loosely.
And then I am back in the cinema lobby saying, "I want to see the next one!" it was only a film, but the next one is rated R, so Ellie can't go and see it.
I meet the giraffes again, he is part of a troupe of them, and they just look like humans with really long necks and four legs. I promise to introduce Ellie to them.
Then I am at work again, it is a restaurant this time, and I swear I am late. I was only meant to be gone for 15 minutes, but it's a quarter past 12 and the girl who is left is really annoyed, there are still customers and the place is filthy.
Then I'm driving home, which is a boarding school, because my family is dead. It's at my old school, and there is an old woman waiting for me, because I'm really late home. I drive up the street, and I'm trying to park, and I loose control, and the car spins and spins, and I feel terrified, but I don't put my foot on the brakes, just let it spin. It doesn't hit anything. I park and go inside. Before I go through the door, I am already starting my apologies, and the old woman is very distressed.
Someone is dead. I don't know who.

I wake up in a fright, thinking that I will be late for work.

Wow, what's with my dreams lately? Last night involved huntsman spiders on my front porch.... singing the sound of music.



WTF?

Really really odd dream last night. I was in a house that had pools at the bottom, not regular swim pools, but pools of water that were like archeaological digs or something, they were murky and dark, and I had a sieve with me, I had to try and make it clean, or else I wouldn't get a valentine (yeah, I don't get it either) anyway, it wouldn't get clean.

Mum and Dad were getting remarried, and had three books, and on each book was a picture of all of us three kids. Mum showed me the dress, it's beautiful, but she can't find the one that she really wanted. It's also in a costume shop.

I go up the stairs, and I am confronted with my brother having a party, it's valentines day, and they're all going to cheers. Anyway, all these people are his age, and they're all sort of trendy young it-and-a-bit's. They're all glaring at me like I've done something wrong, and I feel absolutely horrible. I'm going upstairs to my room, and they're still glaring and whispering, and talking about me quite openly, and I end up dashing into my room and start closing all the blinds. It's not /my/ room, either, but it was in my dream. One wall was all windows showing into the house, or out onto a verandah, or something and was covered by venetians, I'm walking along dragging them all shut, and as I'm nearly finished, a guy comes into the room and he's really angry with me, and he's dragging all the curtains open, yelling at me about how selfish I am. I'm crying by this point, and for some reason, I get the feeling he cares about me, but looking back, I can't see how. But he turns the air-conditioning off, and tells me that I'm so selfish, because don't I know that other people want to use it as well. I manage to get him out of my room, and I'm closing all the curtains again, and I can hear the people outside leaving. One girl somehow manages to get into my room, and I can't seem to get her out. Each time she goes to exit, she uses the cupboard instead of the door, and gets stuck in there.


I'm with someone. He has a key and we're trying to get away from people who want it. He gives it to me before he is taken away. Apparantly they can't take it off me, I have to give it to them, so I'm walking away, and this guy is following me, his face is all distorted, and it's dark, so I can't see anything much. When he realises I know he's following, he disappears, but someone else is ahead of me. It's some sort of flying creature, like a wasp, and it's making false attacks to try and get me to run, because once I run, he can chase me. They ask me where I'm going, and I'm going to Julia's house. Except once I see her, I realise I'm putting her in danger too, so I turn around. She calls out after me, but I don't turn back.

The next scene is difficult to write out, because it doesn't really make sense. I am in a river, and then I am going up lots of steps to the front door of a mansion. I look back across the river, and there is a huge party on the other side. I left the party to come here, and there are lots more people who crossed over after us. This place is like the after-life, or undead place, or something. I don't feel comfortable, but I felt less so on the other side of the river. I'm getting shown through the house. And in one room, there is a tank with a human face in it, like a mask, and some sort of fish as well. The fish eats bananas, and one of the other guests drops a banana into the tank, and it lands on the face. This is bad, apparantly, as it will mean that the face will decay, and the person who's face it was will be alive again. Someone needs to offer blood to make sure that they cannot escape, and I offer.

I wake up.


See, I told you it was strange.

Wow. Holiday's over already. Well, the week away is over already. Holiday's are still going strong. Port Campbell was awesome. Really a great and fun week. Lets see if I can make a proper entry about it.

Monday morning. I caught a bus and a train for the first time in a year. It was surprisingly boring, I was expecting so much of that trip, but nope! nothing happened. Didn't miss any trains, there were no accidents, I didn't even get hit on by a drunk. Well, it was monday morning, so I'll excuse it that. But yeah. Made my way to Flick's house, was slightly early (no, really!) So then Kev Flick and I went to pick up Peter and then we headed off to Colac! What a wonderful town. Well, we didn't really see much of it. We saw the safeway, and the bakers delight, and then looked for a pub, but found a music shop.

So yeah, we arrived at Port Campbell, and then came Pat Mish and Duy! We were a party of people! Duy is a pretentious wanker, he asked me to write, so there you have it. And we played Truth, leaving out the dares. Yeah, was a good night. Did we go down to the pier? Probably, I think we went down every night, correct me if i'm wrong.

Tuesday, what did we do? Well, from my sketchy notes, we went to a river and a beach. That was fun too. The river was a bit swampy, so I didn't go in, and went exploring instead. Got my skirt wet. And then went over the rocks with Peter. Fun, but sore on my bare feet. Hehe, sorry, a lot of this will be 'it was great, but i hurt my self in this way' I'm such a whinger. Hm, yeah, that'll do for tuesday.

Wednesday, we said goodbye to Duy, Pat and Mish. We were four again. We went to a hidden beach that took forever to get to and from. But the result was incredible. The beach was deserted, it was just us for miles in every direction, it felt like. Except for upwards. Tourist helicopters kept flying overhead. The waves were brutal! Huge dumpers, so we didn't really go out very far. The flies on the walk there were horrendous, but there was worse on the beach, march flies! They bit hard! We were the famous five! With an imaginary Timmy the Dog. Actually, we did have a Timmy, but he didn't come adventuring with us, he lived across the road where we stayed. But it really felt like a famous five sort of thing to do, traipse over fields to get to the beach (deserted of course) while on summer holidays at Kirrin Island. Or something like that. Well, after an exhausting walk back to the car, which involved walking up the steep overgrown path that led down the hill to the beach. Two trips up and down for the boys who returned for Flick's watch.

Hmm, well what about thursday? I hear you ask. Thursday was.... hm, A day in which we needed more groceries. I think we went to the creek in the morning, and then we went questing for Peter's grandma. A lovely woman. She reminds me of a granny that lives in one of my childhood books. Except that she didn't farm sheep. The trip there involved many aqua songs, and disney songs, and other songs. Hehe, I never thought I'd be listening to aqua again after I turned 14.

Friday, the arrival of Beth! Hello Beth! We went to Peterborough earlier on, and climbed sand-dunes to get to the beach. That was great, I love sand-dunes. After lying on the beach, and falling asleep for a couple of minutes, Beth called, so we met up with her, and went back to the house to get our swimming gear, and back to Peterborough! We went boogying to the sounds of Grease, starring Peter as Danny, and boogy'd our boards in that horrendously powerful swell. It just dragged you! And when you're in the middle of it, it's so hard to keep your feet and get out. A tumble-dryer, it felt like, but it was still fun. Then, back to the beach, I sunbaked with a box to hide me from getting any sun at all (yay!) and Peter Kev and Beth went to the top of a sand mountain and rolled down it. Wow. What a day. It was pretty exhausting. We went back to the house again, after purchasing more alcohol, and I drank lots of red wine. I like it now.

Saturday involved going home, much sadness. Beth went exploring a bit in her car, while the rest of us headed off to Melbourne. I got home at around 2.20, and went to work at 3. I was exhausted. And I jammed my finger in the change drawer. Not just a normal drawer, but a metal drawer that is like a safe, and weighted so that it closes. Anyway, you have to slam it really hard to make it lock properly, and my finger got in the way. OUUUCH. Kindof. It's really bruised, right at the bottom of the nail, and people keep telling me my nail will fall off, but I refuse to listen to them. I'm typing with it right now, and it's only twinging slightly. Just one of those things that hurt really bad when you do it, but go away pretty quickly (I hope)


And yeah, that brings me to today. It's 20 past one, and I need to find some breakfast. Toodles!


Hm, and a dream I had last night. I went back through time, and I met my family, and I saw little me. It was bizarre. And I talked to them, and Nicky was there (Nicky was my old dog) and I talked to mum, and she wouldn't believe that I was Katie all grown up. Ah well.

And Alistair broke it off with Cat. I feel terrible for them both. But he's already going out with this new girl, Monet. She can play five instruments. That's all I know about her. Cat came around during the week to visit mum and give her a letter, calling us her adopted family. She is such a sweet person, and I really wish Alistair hadn't changed his mind about them.

Oh well, nothing I can do about it. *sigh*

Oh me oh my. It is 10 and i have slept for about three hours already. Now I am awake again and probably will not be able to fall asleep again.

I did have a dream while I was asleep though. The main part was moving into a house. And it was with Julia and Beth. And er. Hm, try to remember. And we were in the kitchen, and there was this long tube, like a pipe, except see through and it had fish in it, it belonged to Beth, and I was wondering why you'd ever keep fish in a tube. And then we were going through the cupboards, and the previous people had left heaps of stuff behind. They were filled with junk, and lots of cups and plates as well. I opened one cupboard up, and it was filled with what I originally thought were empty cd cases. But they had cds in them, and they were in really bad condition, so me and Felicity were sorting through them, throwing out the empty cases, and then writing down the details in a notebook.

And then they weren't cds anymore, but letters, and we were writing down details about where and who they were from and who they were being sent to. I was going to answer them as though I had been the one to receive the letters. I don't know why.

Erm. And then.... yes, there were other people moving in with us. first it was one guy, then two, and then three. And it was morning, and I'd just woken up and walked into the main room where people were having their breakfast, and then I saw one of the guys, and I recognized him from somewhere, and I still feel sure I knew him sometime in the past. And I think he fancied me. Great, first time being fancied in years, and it happens in a dream ^_^

And then I was watching neighbours, and there was someone missing, a young girl, and she was with this murderer, who had killed another girl, and was trying to hide it... um, and I remember blood, lots of blood, and a body, and it being covered up with a picnic rug and moved out of the way. And the girl watching was pretending to be asleep, and she watched as a policeman(?) came to the door and left, as he found nothing suspicious.

And then I was watching tv in the dark, and it was half outdoors, and then it wasn't tv, but the radio, and I was listening to old jazz/swing style music, and the reception kept buzzing out, and I opened the drawer to get a cassette out, and then I wanted to find dad to fix the radio, but it wasn't dad....

and yeah... if I keep going, it just goes mainly, 'and then this was there, but it wasn't this, it was something else, and then something else came along' thats kind of it.



Bleah. I don't make sense of it, I don't pretend to, its just my dream, and it sounded interesting enough to make a post about it.




On an up note, this year is going to be brilliant, if the start is anything to go by. It has been fantastic so far, and I hope that that will continue. Er yeah, its only four days in, what's your point!?!

Today I felt extremely happy with myself. I haven't felt that good for quite a while. Why can't I feel that way more often? Oh well, I'll enjoy it whilst it lasts :D